|
|
|
|
Five Minutes of Grief Education
It is appropriate to educate your clients about grief before, during,
and after their pets' deaths. The basic content of your educational synopsis
should be adapted according to each loss situation. Information about
euthanasia procedures or helping children with grief, for example, can
be included when appropriate. Grief education is most effective when it is supplemented with written materials. The following is an example of five minutes of post-death grief education. Note that the topics covered include typical grief manifestations, a time frame for grief, the individual characteristics of grief, ideas about memorializing, and referral information. "Bill, we all experience grief when we lose an important relationship, whether our loss is a human family member or a pet, like your dog Jeanie. How feelings of grief are expressed varies from one person to the next. Somehow, though, we all find our own personally meaningful ways to get through important losses. When grieving, it is not uncommon to cry a lot-or to feel like crying a lot. You may feel sadness, depression, anger, guilt, and even some relief in response to your loss. You might find yourself uninterested in your usual activities for a while as you try to adjust to a new life without your special companion. You may also have a hard time concentrating on even the most basic tasks and your eating and sleeping routines may be disrupted. Some people find that grieving makes them feel extremely tired and they become irritable and even angry about their losses. Even as time goes by, it may be hard to accept that Jeanie is really dead. You may find that you think about her frequently and miss her deeply. You may even think you hear, see, or smell her. These sensations, these emotions, are common during times of loss. All of them are normal. Grief can be very unpredictable. One minute you may feel fine and the next minute you may feel awful. That's why there is no specific time frame for grieving. It may take days, weeks, or months to come to terms with Jeanie's death. It may take a year or longer to adapt. You'll have your first holiday season without her (your first birthday, hunting trip, competition, vacation). Those can tough times to get through. The important thing is to find your own pace with it. Expect that others may want you to feel better before you are able, Bill. You will probably find that everyone in your family grieves in their own way. That is to be expected. You all had a different relationship with Jeanie. Your grief will be different, too. You might find it helpful to think about some ways to memorialize Jeanie. Some people make a scrapbook of pictures or special objects. Others have a funeral, plant a tree or bush in their pet's honor, or make a donation to an animal-oriented organization in remembrance of their animal. Whatever is most meaningful to you will be the best memorial for Jeanie. When my dog died I talked to others about how much I missed him and that seemed to help me get through the rough times. You might want some additional support along the way, too. There is a pet loss support group in town and several grief counselors who understand the special bonds people have with pets. I'd like to give you some information about them (business cards and brochures). There are also good books available in our library about pet loss (bibliographies). My staff and I would like to support you, too. We know Jeanie was a family member and her death has had a significant impact on your life. We want you to know that we will be thinking about you during this difficult time. How should we leave it between us? Would you like to contact us if you'd like to talk further or would you prefer that one of us call you in the next week or so to see how you are doing?" Pre-death education should focus on preparation, decision-making, and
predictions about how grief is likely to manifest. Education during grief
should take advantage of "teachable moments." For example, if
a client says, "I don't know why I'm acting like this. After all,
dusty is just a dog," you might say, "Yes, Dusty is a dog, but
he is also your best friend. If your best human friend were dying, you'd
be very upset. This situation is no different than that. It's very normal
to be feeling and behaving this way." Post-death education should
normalize and validate grief and give grievers permission to openly express
their feelings. Post-death education is more effective when it is offered
a few days following a death as clients are often in shock immediately
after loss has occurred. They also may not have consciously experienced
many of the manifestations of grief.
|
| Home | About Us | Veterinarians | Families | Grief Resources | News | Links | Students |
