Comfort Rooms

Checklist for Euthanasia Procedure

Explaining the
Euthanasia Procedure

Preparing for Large Animal Euthanasia

Explaining Body Care Options

Condolences

Five Minutes of Grief Education

Assessing Children's Needs

Helping Clients with Decision Making

Copyright Information

Printing Instructions

Although society has yet to fully recognize the death of a companion animal as a valid loss, the grief pet owners feel at the deaths of their pets is very real, and can be overwhelming. Pet owner's responses to pet loss are often as emotional as the grief responses accompanying the loss of a human friend or family member. Bereaved pet owners report disruptions in their lives, work roles, and other relationships due to their feelings of grief.

Grief is one of the most natural and normal emotions that we can feel, yet it is one of the most misunderstood. Because grief often involves very painful and difficult feelings, most of us think that our grief is wrong or "crazy" in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth. Grief is a very healthy psychological response that requires expression and acknowledgement. Attempts to suppress feelings of grief can sometimes actually prolong the healing process.

Our discomfort with grief comes from a variety of sources, but can often be traced back to how our own families have dealt with loss, and how society in general responds to a bereaved person. Unfortunately, many of the responses we hear reinforce the notion that grief is unnatural and perpetuate the myths that grief should be avoided and expressed only behind closed doors. The following are simple suggestions for supporting someone grieving the death of a companion animal.


DO:

• Do send a condolence.
  
  
• Do listen and normalize the person's grief, as well as any guilt they might feel.
  
  
• Do use the pet's name and create opportunities for the bereaved to talk and reminisce.
  
  
• Do give pet owners permission to grieve in their own unique way and on their own time.
  
  
• Do encourage the bereaved pet owner to memorialize and honor their deceased pets.

• Do encourage clients to seek support from friends, family, co-workers, their spiritual community, etc.
  
  

  DON'T:

• Don't reward the more unhealthy responses to pet loss, such as stoicism and avoidance, by saying things like, "You must be strong now" or "Try to stay busy."
  
  
• Don't encourage immediate "replacement" of the deceased pet.
  
  
• Don't encourage the pet owner to immediately remove toys, food and water bowls, beds, etc.
  
  
• Don't minimize the griever's pain by saying things like "Count your blessings" or "You still have other pets" or "If you look around you can always find someone who is worse off than yourself."
  
  
• Don't encourage negative coping strategies or sudden changes such as turning to alcohol or moving to a new location.
  
  
• Don't put grief on a time schedule or expect it to disappear overnight (e.g., "It's been three months now. Shouldn't you be over this by now?"

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    Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital